The C.P.P. Potkustartti (C.P.P. Kickstart) is poised at the edge of a “maggot hole”. Captain James B. Pirk (Samuli Torssonen) recalls in flashback how the P-Fleet got to this moment. Pirk and his crew were stranded on Earth at the end of the 20th century. His crew tries to blend into Earth life so as not to change Earth history.

After being on Earth for years Pirk realizes that Earth’s evolution has not gone as expected. The Vulgars that were to help mankind’s future development instead became corrupted by rock star Jeffrey Cochbrane. The space ship that was to be the center of Mankind’s progress into space was sold to the Russians. Pirk comes to the conclusion that he must be the one to advance civilization.

Pirk contacts his crew members, Commander Dwarf (Timo Vuorensola) and Commander Info (Antti Satama). They locate the spaceship in Russia. Pirk gains the confidence of the Russian President and with his help builds the C.P.P. Potkustartti and the rest of the P-Fleet. Pirk takes over Earth and becomes its emperor.

Now after his musings, Pirk takes the Potkustartti and the rest of the P-Fleet through the maggot hole into an alternate universe where Captain Johnny K. Sherrypie is the commander of the Babel 13 space station. Pirk’s intent is to conquer this new universe. Pirk attacks the space station by shooting it with light balls and twinkle lights. Sherrypie stalls for time by pretending to capitulate to Pirk’s demands. He offers Pirk’s men shore leave and offers Pirk the virginity of Susannah Ivanovista (Satu Helio).

When Pirk’s crew is partying and Pirk is in Ivanovista’s quarters, Captain Sherrypie bides his time until the arrival of Commander Festerbester and his ship the Excavator. Sherrypie strikes. Pirk and his crew escape but not without losses. With the Excavator on their side the battle begins anew.

“Star Wreck: In the Pirkinning” was released in 2005 and was directed by Timo Vuorensola. It is a Finnish movie made by five friends. It is a parody of the Star Trek and Babylon 5 franchises. This is their seventh production but the first that was feature length. The first four were animated. This one picks up where “Star Wreck: V: Lost Contact” left off. It is sometimes called a dark comedy, but it’s really your basic farce. To appreciate this film you need to be quite familiar with both the Stark Trek series and the Babylon 5 series. There are a lot of puns and in jokes that relate to both. It’s extremely well done and if you are a fan of both science fiction franchises you will get a kick out of it.

I have to say, for a low budget home grown film, the special effects were quite impressive. They are on par with major studio productions. The CGI was rendered using regular home computers. It took the filmmakers five years to complete all the Computer Graphics and seven years in total to make the movie. Even the sets are either location shots or computer generated. The computers used in the Russian nuclear power plant are Commodore 64s.There is also some interesting product placement, McBaebel’s fast food and BOKIA Technology Corporation are two of them.

The ray guns are water pistols painted black. The scene where the P-fleet soldiers march towards the Finnish parliament was interrupted by the police. They had received reports of armed men gathering at the parliament. When the police realized that the men were armed with water guns and that their permits were all in order the shoot out could continue.

The characters are, of course, parodies of Star Trek and Babylon 5 characters: In a nut-shell for Star Trek; Captain/Emperor James B. Pirk is a combination of James T. Kirk and Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Commander Info is Data, Commander Dwarf is Worf. Sergey Fukov is Pavel Chekov. The Babel 13 forces are; Captain Johnny K. Sherrypie is John Sheridan, Commander Susannah Ivanovista is Susan Ivanova, Festerbester is Alfred Bester and Security Chief Mikhail Garybrandy is Michael Garibaldi.

Some of the English subtitles are changed slightly to incorporate differences in the Finnish to English languages. For example a twinkler is a phaser, and twist is warp. Photon torpedoes are light balls, and a wormhole is a maggot hole. The engineer of the Potkustartti in Star Trek is of course Scotty. Scotty speaks Finnish in a heavy Turku dialect which is a parody of Montgomery Scott's speaking in Lowland Scots. His corresponding English subtitles have been rendered into Lowland Scots. Other interpretations of translating the Finnish into English are also incorporated. If something seems a little off, just go with the flow.

The Star Wreck movies and shorts are: Star Wreck (1992) Star Wreck II: The Old Shit (1994) Star Wreck III: The Wrath of the Romuclans (1995) Star Wreck IV: The Kilpailu (1996) Star Wreck V: Lost Contact (1997) Star Wreck 4.5: Weak Performance (2000; takes place between IV and V) Star Wreck: In the Pirkinning (2005). Supposedly there is another one in the works but I haven’t heard any more about it.

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