The department of defense has been working on a new weapon. Code name “Project Dorsal”. Unfortunately it is unstable and that’s not good. The weapon is a genetically engineered tiny little shark. Actually it is a cross between a piranha and a great white shark. And it’s a nasty little bugger. The head of the project is Dominique Franklin (Amy Blackman). So far the project has cost fifty-six million dollars.

Enter two young marketing researchers. They know that if you modify the little monsters you can sell them on late night TV and rake in millions. Designer Piranha Sharks. Just in time for Christmas. At just $19.95 plus shipping (A $49.95 value) you too can own these beauties. Plus you get a tank and a year’s supply of energy boost, ABSOLUTELY FREE! Just go to Piranhasharks.com for details.

Benny (Josh Hammond) and Jackson (Collin Galyean) are exterminators. They live with their artist roommate, and former exterminator, Wally (John Wells). When Wally buys some piranha sharks Jackson takes a serious look at them. They reproduce in a matter of hours. When there is no food they eat each other. Jackson sees a problem in the future.

Sales are hot. These little buggers are flying off the proverbial shelves. However, should you tire of them and flush them down the toilet… Well, things don’t go well when they get into New York City’s water supply. And reproduce. Exponentially. And they can fly. And breathe air. Now nowhere is safe. And you though alligators in the sewers were a problem.

Mayor Burman (Kevin Sorbo) decides to ban them, but they are already in the water supply. The Pentagon, on the other hand, wants to use their go-to problem solving technique, nuke ‘em. Of course, Manhattan will have to go too. The last ditch hope of the city is Benny and Jackson. They know how to kill the piranha sharks. Well, Wally does.

“Piranha Sharks” AKA “Jurassic Piranha” was supposedly released in 2016 in the UK, 2017 in Germany and 2018 in the US. It was directed by Leigh Scott. It is a horror/science fiction film. It is also a black comedy and a member of the newly minted sub-genre gonzo-shark. This is an Asylum Picture so you know what you’re getting into from the start.

The movie was originally produced in 2014 but I can’t find where it was released anywhere until 2016 in the UK. I have seen it reported as being released in 2014 and 2015 but I don’t know where these sites got their data. I did find a trailer on YouTube uploaded in 2014. If you are looking for the DVD you may find it hard to find. There are German copies out there and perhaps some in English from the UK but I don’t think it is currently for sale in the US so finding one with a region code of 1 will be a challenge.

Despite all that nonsense, I liked “Piranha Sharks” so much more than I expected to. The acting was good and so was the editing. The special effects were OK but the satire was great. The dialogue back and forth is snappy. There is some gore, but not a lot. What it lacked in blood, it made up for in sophisticated humor. Believe it or not.

If you’re looking for blood, gore and guts you’ll probably want to pass on this, but if you want a well done spoof of Biopunk horror this is it.

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