“You expect me to believe this load of horse shit?”

The town of Ruby has a problem. A military plane carrying a giant 60 foot python crash lands near it. The snake escapes. The snake starts eating a bunch of people. The first to go are a couple of lesbian campers, Lisa Johnson and Roberta Keeler. The next day, John Cooper (Frayne Rosanoff), his girlfriend Kristin (Dana Barron), his best friend Tommy (Wil Wheaton), and Tommy's girlfriend Theresa (Sara Mornell) find Lisa's pet burmese python but not Lisa.

Deputy Greg Larsen (William Zabka) shows up, mentioning that Lisa is missing and takes the snake. Lisa's body is found, appearing to have been corroded by acids. Greg suspects John, since he works at a plant that uses acids. Greg doesn't like John anyway. He blames John for stealing his ex-fiancé Kristin. The police keep finding bloody skeletons.

The NSA and a Herpetologist are also looking for the snake. Robert Englund is Dr. Anton Rudolph a whacko scientist that keeps a snake in his pocket. (Not that kind of snake.) He is responsible for genetically engineering the giant python with some interesting attributes for, of course, military applications. It pukes acid. He calls it "a perfect killing machine, a 129-foot-long all-terrain vehicle capable of speeds exceeding 50 miles an hour, with skin that can deflect an antitank round, enhanced night vision, and a voracious appetite for human flesh". The NSA team plans an assault against the snake, hoping to kill it discreetly before it eats more people.. The military guys all get killed. The snake is smarter the military.

Now it is up a bunch of loopy teenagers and one left over local policeman to save the day.

“Python” was released in 2000 and was directed by Richard Clabaugh. “Python” is your basic low budget “B” movie made for the SYFY channel. It features a plethora of almost, maybe, kinda, wanna be stars. Robert Englund, Casper Van Dien, Wil Wheaton, Jenny McCarthy (she doesn’t last long) and a bunch of other people you’ve seen before, but you don’t remember their names.

The CGI is decent for a low budget movie. The script is campy and far fetched like you expect it would be. The acting is over the top and it should be. It’s your basic mindless unwholesome entertainment. If you want something dopy. Here ya go.

Parents: There is some nudity and a gay sex scene. A little Swearing. Lots of bloody skeletal type remains so do not watch while eating Pizza.