She's gonna eat you alive

Near a small New York town a team of biologists led by Professor Jonathan Hoffman are investigating reports of wildlife killings. The biologists find a hole in the ground. They determine that a prehistoric creature, that had been frozen for thousands of years was freed by a recent earthquake, and is killing the wildlife. The creature appears and attacks the team. The creature is an ancient pre-historic shark.

Years later the legend of the snow shark endures. The town's mayor Shawn Overman (Robert Bozek) is told about a couple of residents that were killed by the snow shark. More sightings are reported and more deaths.

In the meantime the shark eats everybody it can. Teams of mismatched hunters, zoologists, and town folk go out into the wilderness to try to kill it. What happens next? Spoilers!!

"Snow Shark" was released in 2011. It was directed and written by Sam Qualiana. This is more of a home grown movie. It’s reminiscent of something from Christopher Mihm in case you are familiar with the mihmiverse. The Sam is not only writer and director he is also an actor in this project. At the time he did this movie he was about 25 years old and the movie budget was around $7,000 so do not expect a lot. Correction, do not expect anything. A good chunk of the funding for the project was from a campaign through a crowdfunding website.

I believe a lot of the actors are friends and family. Yes, the acting is stilted and overly dramatic. The dialogue bland and at times stupid. The special effects are … shall we say suggested. There is a substantial use of blood, which looks especially prominent on white snow. There is no CGI in the movie. The shark is a puppet. I've always been OK with puppet monsters.

The shark fins swimming through the snow are done rather well. And the shots from the shark’s mouth’s point of view are different. In one scene you guys (and gals?) also get to see some boobs. If you can get past the bad acting, dialogue and special effects you’ll find this movie is basically a modern day “B” movie done by amateurs with a pretty cool theme song which I believe is titled “She’s gonna eat you alive”.

If I were giving out stars I would give the movie three. One for the silly concept of a snow shark, one for Sam's fortitude to follow his dreams, and one for that nifty theme song. It you don’t mind amateur movie makers and can forgive bad acting then this might be an interesting addition to your shark movie collection.


Theme song