"It is like the blind leading the stupid here".

In Blackwater, Louisiana a meteor is seen streaking across the sky. It crashes through the roof of The Museum of Natural History. Unbeknownst to anyone the meteor is actually some kind of tiny life form from outer space. The life form crashes into a block of ice that contains the frozen remains of a woolly mammoth. The mammoth comes to life and smashes its way out of the ice and runs away. Dr. Frank Abernathy (Vincent Ventresca) runs the museum and sees the meteorite crash through the roof. He goes inside and sees his mammoth is gone.

That night two government agents, Powers (Leila Arcieri) and Whitaker (Marcus Lyle Brown), show up at Frank's house and rope him into helping them find the run amok mammoth. The mammoth crashes through a rave that is going on in the woods and either kills or sucks the life out of everyone it comes across. The government intends on nuking the entire town unless someone can come up with a better plan to stop the mammoth. The two agents, Frank, Frank's daughter Jack (Summer Glau), Jack's boyfriend Squirrelly (Cole Williams) and Frank's father Simon (Tom Skeritt) work together to try to end the carnage before the government ends them.

"Mammoth" was released in 2006 and was directed by Abram Cox. I know it’s stupid and lame and really, really bad. But I can’t help it… Just let me tell you my favorite part.

A gorilla-gram comes to Simon's house to do a dancing/singing birthday card for his granddaughter Jack. The gorilla gets killed by the mammoth. The mammoth tosses the guy in the gorilla suit up on the roof. It gets impaled on the roof antenna. It then falls off the roof and lands in the yard with part of the antenna sticking out of it. Simon, who is a UFO conspiracy enthusiast, finds the gorilla and thinks it’s an invasion of monkeys from outer space. For protection against the alien monkey invasion, he dons a welder’s helmet and grabs a garbage can lid and a grill cleaning brush. He puts the gorilla guy in the car and drives to the police station.

That is my favorite part. And it has absolutely nothing to do with the movie. There are other moments that are almost as memorable. The frozen hand that they put into the microwave on popcorn setting and it comes back to life was also dumb but fun. The lover’s lane... Well, that part was weird. And don’t forget the wooly mammoth is rampaging all through the movie. You know, the guy who’s has top billing.

The acting is way, way over the top. All the characters are dysfunctional in some way. It is extremely dopey. It’s a lower budget SYFY channel “B” movie. That in itself should tell you a lot. It’s really awful. I ought to know, I’ve seen it many times.