Norman and Leilla Sterns (Corveth Ousterhouse and Shirley Bonne) are on a driving vacation looking at various sites in the United States. Norman is a whiny jerk. They take a wrong turn and become lost in the Ozarks. Short on gas, they come across Wayne Thomas (Tommy Kirk). Wayne tells them he saw a house a few miles down the road. Perhaps they can get some gas there. The house belongs to Greely (Bill Thurman).
Greely is a little on the creepy side. OK a lot on the creepy side. He lives with his housekeeper Bella (Annabelle Weenick). Greely tells them that he is expecting a delivery of gas that day and invites them into the house to have some refreshment while they wait. Greely’s housekeeper is freaked out by the visitors. She is in fear for them. Greely threatens her. He tells her to make them some tea and keep quiet or she will take their place.
Thomas’s jeep pulls up to the house to check and make sure the Sterns got to the house OK. Greely knocks Thomas unconscious and drags him away. Greely goes back into the house and offers to show the Sterns his collection of animals. After seeing the regular animals Greely has in cages he says he wants to show them his prize possession.
For some stupid reason they follow him into a cave and down a dark underground tunnel. Leilla doesn’t want to go into the creepy cave. Norman ridicules her. Once down there Greely locks them in by releasing hidden bars that cover the tunnel opening creating a makeshift cell. The Sterns find that Thomas is also in the underground cell. He is slowly coming around from being unconscious.
Norman is looking for a way out of the cavern. He suggests they go down further into the cave to see if there is a way out down below. Leilla and Thomas follow him. Greely is waiting for them. And so is a monster. The monster, looking like Kermit the Frog with a really bad dental plan, comes up out of the water. It kills and eats Norman. Thomas, who just happens to be a paleontologist, knows what it is. According to him it is the totally made up Masasaurus. It is a kind of an aquatic lizard that grows to be about 40 to 50 feet tall. The creature supposedly went extinct 75 million years ago.
“It’s Alive” was released in 1969 and was directed by Larry Buchanan. There were two movies called “It’s Alive” in the sixties and seventies. The one most people think of is the monster baby movie done in 1974. Before that was this boring piece of nonsense.
Buchanan did eight made for TV movies for his own Azalea Films and AIP. Buchanan's instructions from AIP were: "We want cheap color pictures, we want half-assed names in them, we want them eighty minutes long and we want them now". This was the last one. It has an unusual distinction. Buchanan’s specialty, if you could call it that, was re-makes. “Zontar, the Thing From Outer Space” was a remake of “It Conquered The World”. “In the year 2889” was a remake of “Day The World Ended”, etc. It’s Alive’s distinction is being a remake of a movie that was never made. The original film was to star Peter Lorre; however, his death ended the project entirely. The script, however, was included in several given to Buchanan to remake. Ta Da. “It’s Alive” was created.
The monster suit was the same one used in "Creature of Destruction," the Larry Buchanan remake of "The She Creature." It, of course, is dumb looking, at least what you could see of it. I didn’t have a problem with the monster. I expected stupid. As a matter of fact I liked the stupid monster. But if you’re gonna have a stupid looking monster, show me the stupid looking monster. And some action. It’s a horror movie so the monster needs to at least touch whoever is getting killed. During the death scenes it was a shot of the monster with the shaky camera and then a shot of the victim with the shaky camera. Shaky monster, shaky victim, shaky monster, shaky victim. Boring.
Larry Buchanan has a way of making movies that are outdone by twenty year old basement moviemakers. The problem with Larry Buchanan movies is, of course, Larry Buchanan. As a horror movie “It’s Alive” is drivel. As camp and cult it is up there with… Oh hell, it’s not up there with anything except maybe another Larry Buchanan film.