There's no place like home.

Jason Avery (Stephen Baldwin) is a former police officer who is now working as a security guard for a museum. While making his rounds one night he comes across a professor is standing in front of an obelisk. He has an amulet. The professor talks to Jason about using the amulet and the obelisk. He says that with both he will be able to control Harpies. Harpies are female demons from the past.

When Jason tells him he has to leave armed thieves tie him up. He manages to escape his bonds and goes after the thieves. A battle ensues. Somehow, Jason accidently triggers the obelisk and a portal opens to the past. Jason is sucked in and lands in a pig sty.

The villagers think he is the "Harpy Slayer" who was foretold in a prophecy would slay the evil harpies and basically save the day. All Jason wants to do is go home. However, an evil wizard wants to raise an army of nasty harpies and rule the land. After that he gets sucked into battling the evil wizard and a couple harpies with bad teeth, bad mascara and bed-head.

"Harpies" was released in 2007 and was directed by Josh Becker. It is an adventure/fantasy/science fiction movie, heavy on the crap. Oh boy. I tried. I really did but I gotta say that, to me, this movie was really, really bad. I realize this is a SYFY channel movie. And that means small budget, stupid plots, camp, cheeze, bad acting, bad dialogue, awful special effects, and/or dumb leaps of reasoning. But they usually don’t all happen in the same movie at the same time. Usually if you try you can find at least one redeeming feature. And as I said, I tried.

However, I did learn the following: I did not know that in the 10th century sarcasm was so popular and that modern colloquial English was used frequently at that time. Or that Steven Baldwin invented the trebuchet. The movie is actually called "Stan Lee's Harpies". Sorry Stan.

Even though it was not my kind of movie there are those that love all the bad aspects of it. Even Stephen Baldwin. To those I say; “I’m OK with that”.

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