Horror author R. Chetwynd-Hayes (John Carradine) is walking down the street when he is bitten by a vampire named Eramus (Vincent Price). Eramus was in dire need of blood. When he realizes who he bit he wants to return the favor and give him some ideas for his next book. He invites the author to a bar called the Monster Club. At the club the author hears three stories of the macabre.

"The Shadmock": A couple of con artists Angela (Barbara Kellerman) and George (Simon Ward) see an ad in the paper for a cataloguer at a mansion owned by a wealthy collector named Raven (James Laurenson). When Angela applies for the job she is repulsed by Raven’s appearance. George talks her into taking the job anyway. Raven is shy and aware of his looks. Still he falls in love with Barbara and proposes. George forces her to accept the offer so she can find out the combination to his safe. Raven tells her he is a Shadmock but not what it means. A Shadmock is a monster that is a hybrid between two other monsters. They do not bite or tear their victims. They only whistle but the whistle can disintegrate an animal or a human. During a party to announce their engagement Barbara raids the safe but is caught by Raven. When he finds out that she would never love him and just wanted his money he whistles.

"The Vampires": Lintom (Warren Saire) is the son of a vampire (Richard Johnson) but has a mortal mother (Britt Ekland). Lintom is pale and shy. He is always bullied at school and spends his time alone. One day at school while he is being picked on a man comes to his rescue. The man is Pickering (Donald Pleasence). Pickering begins a conversation with Lintom and asks him lots of questions about his father. Pickering and his cohorts Mooney (Anthony Valentine) and Watson (Neil McCarthy) follow Lintom home. When Lintom goes to the basement he finds his father laid out in a casket. Realizing his father is a vampire he races from the house only to be stopped by Pickering. Pickering and his minions are vampire hunters and have been looking for Lintom’s father. They go into the house to kill the vampire but Pickering ends up getting a surprise that he’s not happy about.

"The Ghouls": Sam (Stuart Whitman) is a movie director. While looking for a location to film a scene for his movie he takes a road off the beaten path. A couple miles down the road he enters an eerie fog bank. He then comes upon a small rundown village called Loughville. Sam finds out that the villagers are all ghouls that dig up graves for their clothes and to eat as food. Luna (Lesley Dunlop) is the innkeeper’s daughter. She is half ghoul and half human. Her mother was a human who got lost and ended up in the village. She was used for food. Now all the graves have been plundered and the ghouls are in need of nourishment. They are not about to let Sam leave.

“The Monster Club” was released in 1981 and was directed by Roy Ward Baker. It is a British portmanteau anthology based on the writings of R. Chetwynd-Hayes. The actual author Chetwynd-Hayes was not happy with the finished film. He didn’t like the changes that were made to his stories and found the film silly. The film didn’t do well at the box office.

Of the stories in the film, the third, The Ghouls, was the best. The vampire one seemed a little on the silly side. The Shadmock was OK but not great. The wrap around story about the monster club, however, was basically ridiculous. The music was more annoying than entertaining although the song “The Stripper” done by Stevie Vann Lang with the group “Night” was excellent and a surprise amid all the not so good songs.

In the “Monster Club” monster genealogy you have Vampires, Werewolves, and Ghouls. Intermating produces different offspring. A Vampire + Werewolf = Werevamp, a Werewolf + Ghoul = Weregoo, a Vampire + Ghoul = Vamgoo. After that a Weregoo + Werevamp = Shaddy, a Weregoo + Vamgoo = Maddy and a Werevamp + Vamgoo = Raddy. Finally a Shaddy + Raddy or Maddy = Mock. A mock is a nice way of saying a mongrel. The basic rules of monsterdom are: Vampires suck, Werewolves hunt, Ghouls tear, Shaddys lick, Maddys yawn, Mocks blow and Shadmocks whistle. A shadmock is a Mock and any other hybrid.

Movie

The Stripper song by Stevie Vann Lang